<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Will you remember this when the party's over? by butterflylounge</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639723">Will you remember this when the party's over?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflylounge/pseuds/butterflylounge'>butterflylounge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuto Spiked the Punch, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, House Party, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, POV First Person, Sugawara Koushi is a Good Friend, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, Tsukki is a dick, Underage Drinking, side bokuaka, side kuroken, side tsukkiyama, tw for attempted suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:27:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflylounge/pseuds/butterflylounge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama REALLY doesn't want to go to that stupid house party. But then again, it's Hinata asking, and when has he ever been able to say no to Hinata?<br/>---------<br/>Hearing my name on his tongue shook me out of my daze, and I finally came back to see him pointing at the large house at the top of the drive. My stomach dropped, and as I continued to let Hinata pull me up the road, my mind went back to the unfortunate circumstances that roped me into this mess. . . </p><p>Angst, Fluff, and lots of Dumb-Fuckery ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the hundredth time over the last few days, I asked myself why I’d agreed to go along with this. I saw the boy ahead of me, still chattering away, completely unaware of how little of his words I’d actually registered. Why did it always come back to Hinata? Every day, every word, every single set I have ever made. It all goes back to him eventually. </p>
<p>	“KAGEYAMA-” </p>
<p>	Hearing my name on his tongue shook me out of my daze, and I finally came back to see him pointing at the large house at the top of the drive. My stomach dropped, and as I continued to let Hinata pull me up the road, my mind went back to the unfortunate circumstances that roped me into this mess. . . </p>
<p>-----One Week Earlier-----</p>
<p>	We gathered into a huddle after warmups, and after five minutes of trying to shut Nishinoya and Tanaka up, Takeda-Sensei and Coach Ukai stood in front of us and began to speak. </p>
<p>	“Everyone in this room right now has talent;” He began, “Nishinoya is one of the best liberos in Japan. Tsukishima’s calculation and prediction skills are undeniable. I could go around this room and point something out about every single one of you, but for time’s sake, I won’t. Each of you has different talents, different ways of seeing the court in front of you, and you all bring something to the table that makes this team powerful. But to have any chance against a powerhouse like Fukurodani or Nekoma, every single step you take, every move you make, has to be in perfect time with everybody else on the court.” </p>
<p>	Coach Ukai turned to Takeda-sensei before motioning for him to take it away, and the now tense shorter man stepped up nervously to talk. </p>
<p>	“When we were watching Fukurodani play Nekoma at the training camp, you could distinctly see how the two teams were on a completely different level than other teams. It was clear that as they worked together, they knew exactly what to do to bring out the talents of everybody on the court. We need to work on moving like we’re all a part of one machine. If we want any chance of going another round, we need to get ourselves, at the very least, on their skill level.”</p>
<p>	I limped back into the club room, legs aching. On top of the coordination exercises with the rest of the team, we all had to work on our individual speed, stamina, and precision. Even with Hinata and me regularly staying during breaks and after everybody else left, it was still a lot more than I was used to doing. The low buzz of chatter among my teammates was suddenly interrupted by a tinny ringtone from a few lockers away. Hinata’s voice piped up over everyone else’s. </p>
<p>“Shut up! I’m getting a call!” </p>
<p>After walking home with Hinata after long practices a number of times, I knew how much he liked to talk. And talk. And talk. I didn’t mind it as much as I used to. Hell, I loved it, but once he got on a call, he never hung up. As soon as he picked up, I shoved my clothes into my bag, waved a quick goodbye to Yachi, and headed out. No sense in waiting for him if he was going to be on his phone the whole way home. </p>
<p>As I began the walk, I rolled my shoulders, feeling them pop due to the rough practice. Hinata had handled it like a champ. He always did. That was one of the things I loved about him. He was so incredibly determined. If he wanted something, he would do anything he possibly could to get it. Sometimes it was scary to watch him in the middle of a game playing against someone tough. There was this look in his eyes that screamed that his only goal was to score as many points as possible. If I’m being honest, that same persistence was the reason we became friends. He bothered me every minute of every day until it became a part of my routine to have him there. But now I wouldn’t change it for the world. Wouldn’t change him. God, he’s so beaut- A small figure launched itself onto my back, holding on around my neck with thin arms. On instinct, I grabbed their legs and held them to my sides to help keep them steady. </p>
<p>“Shit,” I hiss. “Boke, Hinata boke. You scared me.”</p>
<p>I twisted my head to look back at his grinning face, still on my back. As we made eye contact, Hinata forced his smile into a pout, complete with puppy dog eyes. I genuinely believe my brain melted out of my ears a little at how cute it was. </p>
<p>“Awww, Kageyama, how’d you know it was me so quick?”</p>
<p>“Come on, you don’t think I’m that stupid, do you? Who else would it be?” I ask. “Plus, I heard you coming.” </p>
<p>Hinata let go of my neck and pretended to swoon backward as if he was offended. Oh. Ooh. This could be a good payback. The second he broke eye contact, I let go of his legs, and he wobbled back, falling off of my back, and onto the concrete. </p>
<p>“HEY!” Hinata screeched. “What the heck, Stinkyama?” </p>
<p>“I’ll race you to the corner store! Loser buys pork buns!” I took off, running as fast as I could, not glancing back at the boy behind me. I knew he’d catch up. He always did. </p>
<p>“AW COME ON, YOU HAD A HEAD START!” </p>
<p>I ended up buying the pork buns. So what if I let him win? We spent the rest of our walk together in a rare but comfortable silence, save for the sounds of our shoes on the cement. Right as we were about to split off to go our own ways, Hinata grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. </p>
<p>“H- hey, Kageyama?” </p>
<p>My heart caught in my throat. His golden eyes stared up at me, and I broke eye contact, desperately trying to fight the rising blush in my cheeks. </p>
<p>“Tch,” I stammered out. “What’s up?”</p>
<p>He averted his eyes from me, fingers fiddling awkwardly with the button of his uniform. “I can walk home with you, and we can talk? If that’s okay? I have a question for you.” I nodded brusquely. I knew on the outside I must have looked so cold, but inside I felt like I was going to explode. “So, in the club room when my phone rang, I got a call from Kenma. You know, the one from Nekoma?”<br/>Fuck. Yeah, I knew the one. The blond second year who took a liking to my Hinata. The one who always called him by his first name. Competition. </p>
<p>“Kageyama?”</p>
<p>“Oh. Yeah. I know him. What about him?”</p>
<p>Hinata broke out into a huge smile. “Well, he called to tell me that the third years from Fukurodani and Nekoma are throwing a huge house party to celebrate both being in the top four and getting to breathe for a minute before we all have to compete even harder than before!” I cocked my head at him, confused. </p>
<p>“Okay...I thought you said there was a question in there.” </p>
<p>“Shut up Kageyama, I’m getting there!” Hinata yelled. “ANYWAY… Kenma called and asked if I’d like to come to celebrate our win against Shiratorizawa. He said I could bring anybody I wanted, and I was wondering if you’d wanna come with me!” </p>
<p>I didn’t think I’d heard that right. He wanted me to come to a party with him? And Kenma invited him. And he invited me. I didn’t get it at all. </p>
<p>“Tsukki got invited by Bokuto and Kuroo. So I don’t wanna be stuck there with nobody I know other than Mr. Salty Pants.” At this point, the ginger was gesticulating wildly, and blushing down to the tips of his ears. “I- I’m sorry Kageyama, forget I asked. It’s just...You’re my best friend and I didn’t know who else to ask. You don’t have to answer me now!” He spoke quickly, waving his hands rapidly. “But if you change your mind, just let me know. It’s next Saturday night!” </p>
<p>With that, Hinata turned and ran back down the street, coat flapping behind him. I didn’t have time to say anything before he turned the corner and was out of sight. I was left standing on my porch, staring out onto the street, wondering, what the FUCK just happened.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kageyama is So Very Sad.<br/>Please note that this chapter is heavy on dark themes, and there's a TW for anxiety, and mentions of attempted s*icide so if you don't like that or it triggers you, go ahead and skip this.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>REMINDER TW FOR ATTEMPTED S*ICIDE IN THIS CHAPTER</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The empty house stood ahead of me as I walked in off the front stoop. Normally, the echo between the walls when I get home is lonely, hollow. But at times like this, times when I was deep in thought, I liked the quiet. My footsteps echoed through the halls into the kitchen as I grabbed a carton of milk and a bag of chips. The walk to my bedroom felt longer than usual, and when I finally got there, I shut the door behind me, leaning heavily onto it. For the first time all day, I let out a huge breath. </p><p>For the first time since coming to Karasuno, I allowed myself to think back to my years at Kitagawa Junior High. This was supposed to be my fresh start. Somewhere where the nickname “King of the Court” didn’t haunt me like the memories of the cold tile floor of the bathroom. The empty orange bottle on the counter. </p><p>I only ever wanted to fly. I just wanted to be good enough for us to fly. Every minute of every day was spent building my wings. They were my everything. My teammates never understood why I wanted so badly to fly. So I tried to show them. To push them, to make them see how beautiful it was in the sky. </p><p>I was never good at communication. When I tried to talk to my teammates, it was like I couldn’t breathe. A vice pressed so tightly around my lungs that I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t even able to scream for help. There was no sound except for the ringing in my ears. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat. Doctors called it a panic disorder. And suddenly I had a reason. I knew why my every attempt to reach out was blocked. But that didn’t make it any easier to handle. </p><p>Volleyball was where I felt safe. The hollow sound of the balls hitting the floors of the gym felt like a lullaby and the clamor of many sets of feet thumping along the ground sounded like home. It was the only time I felt like I could just fly away from everything. It was my happy place. It would have been perfect if it wasn’t for the team aspect. Every time I tried to ask my teammates for something, it would come out stiff and cold. Eventually, I stopped trying. Even as somebody looking in from the outside, one could tell that we weren’t truly a team. There was me, and there was them. </p><p>They called me “The King of the Court”. I never knew that being a king could be so lonely. On one hand, you’re on top of the world. Your power can’t be matched, and you’re surrounded by people who live to help you reach your goal. But you’re always all alone, even when you’re standing in a room full of people. Nobody understands what you’re going through. You can’t let anybody in. </p><p>I was alone, and they hated me for it. As months went past, I began to realize every day exactly how little I was wanted. I started to skip school, pretending to leave in the morning to go to school, and coming back after my parents left for work. I couldn’t face my teammates. The lonely days filled only with the whispers of a king. Some days I couldn’t even get out of bed. Those were the worst. The days when I was stuck in my head, and I couldn’t help but allow my mind to wander from one thought to another. I started to wonder if there was a point to all of this. Why was I even alive? I was already a ghost in my own home; even less than that at school. I felt hollow. Numb. </p><p>That’s when I started to lose time. Days would blend together, with me being swept along, like a drowning man in a riptide. I barely ate, and on the off occasion I showed up to classes, I wouldn’t turn anything in. Even Volleyball, which once was my happy place, had been tainted. The glares of my teammates and the whispers slashing at me like knives were too much to bear. Instead, I avoided the gym like a plague. </p><p>I’m leaving out the details of what happened next. I wish I could say it was to stop myself from falling back into the dark, but truly, I don’t remember much. I remember the cold tile floor of my bathroom. The orange prescription bottle in the medicine cabinet. The tears wetting my cheeks. Then, nothing. I woke up in the hospital two days later, dazed and confused. </p><p>Recovery was a long time coming. I spent a month in a mental facility in Tokyo. I was pulled out of school and put into online classes. After that came therapy, along with anxiety medications. Of course, it wasn’t perfect. There’s no recipe for a potion that will take away the hurt, erase the fact that I was alone. But I was tired of being left behind. I needed a new start. </p><p>My first choice was Shiritorizawa. Their volleyball team was second to none, and my grandfather had gone to school there back in the day. It was perfect. Or it would have been perfect if I’d made it in. But I didn’t. No way in hell was I going to Aoba Johsai. Too many bad memories haunted that court. So I ended up at Karasuno. A fresh start. Another chance. </p><p>That night my dreams were haunted by thoughts of an orange-haired boy, and how nice it would feel to hold his hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay. I'm sorry. But I promise it'll get better!!!! (eventually)<br/>A song for this chapter if you want it!! -&gt; Nights Like These by Pigeon Pit!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They're oblivious. So. Very. Oblivious.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I began my familiar walk to the gym after school, but my head was up in the clouds. Out of nowhere, I felt a yank against the hood of my jacket, which forced me to step backward suddenly, jerked out of my stupor. Tanaka stood behind me, still with a hold on my jacket. Before I could snap at him for tripping me up, he gestured in front of me to the metal pole that I was moments away from walking into.</p><p>“Dude, what’s going on with you today? I’ve been walking behind you and trying to get your attention for the last two minutes.” </p><p>“Tch,” I avoided his eyes, feeling the tips of my ears getting warm. “Nothing’s going on, Tanaka. Just thinking about practice.”</p><p>He laughed so hard that tears started to leak out of the corners of his eyes. He was doubled over, hands on his knees, wheezing. “Kageyama, after months of being on a team with you, I can tell when you’re thinking about volleyball, and when you’re distracted.” A look of comprehension dawned on his face, and he burst into a fresh bout of giggles. “Oh, are you thinking about Hi-” He teased, waggling his eyebrows at me.</p><p>I immediately slapped my hand over his mouth to shut him up, giving him a hard glare. </p><p>“Thinking about what?”</p><p>My shoulders stiffened as I recognized the voice from behind me. Shit. In my mind, I begged Tanaka to just shut his mouth for once in his life and dropped my hand to my side before turning around to face Hinata. “That new quick we’ve been practicing. It’s not synced up yet and we need to figure out the logistics before our next game.” </p><p>The shorter boy straightened up at that, beginning to chatter on about the day’s practice, and everything they needed to work on. As he began to lead the way to the gym, I shot a warning glance at the second year behind me. He raised his hands in surrender, and for the first time all afternoon, I felt myself begin to relax.</p><p>------time skip------</p><p>Practice ended as usual, but instead of the usual calm that washed over me after a good practice, all I felt was overwhelming terror. After tossing and turning and turning all night, I had decided that what was in the past, needed to stay there. I’d gotten my new chance, and I was going to take it. Before I could chicken out, I walked over to Hinata, who was in the middle of chattering at a very obviously frazzled Suga. </p><p>“Suga. Do you mind if I borrow Hinata for a moment?”</p><p>The look on the third year’s face screamed gratitude, and in my head, I could swear I heard him thanking me for rescuing him. </p><p>“Yeah, of course. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Hinata. But until then, remember that you have to remember to breathe. It’ll help you stay calm.” </p><p>Like usual, the ginger fell into step with me as we walked out of the gym and into the night air. His cheeks were still flushed from practice and as we walked, I could feel his eyes trained on my face. I needed to say something soon, but it was too nerve-wracking that I could barely move. Before I could chicken out, I took a deep breath and turned to him. But just as I opened my mouth to speak, Hinata exploded.</p><p>“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said last night. You looked really uncomfortable, and I didn’t mean to bother you. Please, just forget I said anything!” He turned away, blushing, and like the night before, started to run away. But this time, before he could, I gripped his wrist. We stood there for a moment, illuminated in the light of the streetlamps, Hinata’s back to me. </p><p>“Hinata…” I whispered. “If you really want me to forget about it, I’ll do it. All you have to do is say so. But if you were serious last night, even a little bit-” I leave the sentence hanging for a second, fear stabbing at my insides. “I’ll come with you if you want me to.” </p><p>I left out how I would do anything he asked me to. How if he called me and asked me to help him hide a body, I’d be at his house in ten minutes to help. How he has me wrapped so thoroughly around his finger that I would show up to that stupid fucking party in nothing but my tightie whities if that’s what he wanted. </p><p>I let his hand drop to his waist. His back still facing me, and he hadn’t said a word. My heart sunk. Just as I was about to turn and walk away, I heard a quiet voice from behind me. </p><p>“K- Kageyama?”</p><p>I paused.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You’d really go with me?” His eyes met mine, and I swore I could see stars. “For serious?”</p><p>“Yeah. Promise.” Before I knew what was happening, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. Somehow through the gay panic, I managed to hug him back. We stayed like that for a while, his head buried in my chest, arms around my waist, and my head on top of his. Eventually, he gave one last big squeeze and pulled back. I genuinely thought the smile on his face was bright enough to permanently blind a small child, or at least melt an ice cream cone. </p><p>“I can meet you at your place before the party, so we can go together. Does that work for you? We can call it maybe 7:30?”</p><p>All I could really do was smile and nod, but as I watched Hinata turn away and start his bike ride home, sending me one last wave and blinding smile, the only thing I could think was how screwed I was. Shoyo Hinata really was gonna be the end of me, one way or another.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>alright the good stuff is about to happen and I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE SHORT CHAPTERS I HAVE A VERY SMALL ATTENTION SPAN</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*chanting* let's get this party started, let's get this party started! Enjoy some fluff, before shit goes down again!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The week went by way too fast, and Saturday arrived in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Even that seemed to blur past though, and before I knew it, I could hear my phone buzzing next to me. <br/>“Come out! I’m here!” Hinata’s text lit up my phone screen, and I scrambled to my feet, whirling around. I swore under my breath and typed out a hasty reply, grabbing my wallet and jacket and heading out the door. </p><p>So that’s how I got to where I am now. Being pulled up an unfamiliar driveway in Tokyo, listening to Hinata blabber on about one thing or another that Kenma said the other day, and trying to ignore the pulls of terror and jealousy in my gut. As we approached the front door, it was suddenly kicked open, making us jump. Standing in the door frame was a very hyper Koutarou Bokuto followed closely by a highly annoyed Keiji Akaashi. </p><p>“HEY HEY HEY! Two little Karasuno crows came to play!” Bokuto cheered, smiling at the boy next to me. “How was the ride over?” </p><p>Bokuto and Hinata quickly burst into an excited conversation as I looked on. My stomach started to twist as I stood behind Hinata on the doorstep, awkwardly waiting for their conversation to end so we could finally go in and get this party over with. </p><p>“Kageyama.”</p><p>I startled, looking around until my eyes settled on Akaashi. He had stepped out from behind Bokuto and held his hand out for me to shake, smiling gently. </p><p>“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting you to show up tonight! How’ve you been?” </p><p>I managed to crack a small smile, and take the older boy’s hand. “Yeah, it’s… not exactly my scene. I’m mostly just here to support Hinata. He didn’t wanna show up and not know anybody.”</p><p>Akaashi stared blankly at me and very pointedly looked over at the two boys next to us. Bokuto was gesticulating wildly, now in the middle of relaying every single detail of Fukurodani’s latest game to a transfixed Hinata. The two of them together created so much energy, I felt tired just watching them. Akaashi looked back at me, sighing. </p><p>“For somebody so calculating on the court, you’re pretty stupid otherwise.” Setting his gaze back on the excitable idiots next to us, Akaashi let out another sigh, a small smile gracing his lips. “You’re almost as oblivious as Bokuto was before we got together. Do you want to hear my two cents on the matter?” </p><p>Before I was even aware of doing so, I nodded my head. After a discreet glance over at Hinata- who was still ignoring us- Akaashi leaned over to whisper in my ear, hair brushing against the sides of my cheek. </p><p>“If Kenma hadn’t invited Hinata, Bokuto would have. And if he didn’t, Kuroo would have. And if Kuroo hadn’t, I would’ve.” He stressed. “The point I’m trying to make here is that even if Hinata hadn’t invited you here, he wouldn’t have been alone. If he invited you, it’s because he wanted you here, not because he’d be lonely.” With that, the second-year winked and stepped back, calling out to his boyfriend. “Bokuto-san. Why don’t we let these two get inside the door before we start crowding them.” </p><p>Just like that, with one last wave from Akaashi and a bone-crushing hug from Bokuto, they stepped aside, and I had a full view of the party. The room was packed with people dancing and holding red solo cups. Some of them I recognized from volleyball teams we’d played before, but others were total strangers. </p><p>The ground was scattered with balloons, shaking with the music echoing out of the speakers lining the walls. The energy in the room was thrumming like an electrical current, and it felt as though my feet were glued to the floor. I could already feel the hot rush of bile starting to rise in my chest, and my lungs constricted, making it nearly impossible to breathe. </p><p>“Kageyama?” A small voice rang out from next to me, and I focused on it, his voice a single life preserver among an ocean of empty chatter. Hinata looked up at me with worried eyes, his face scrunched up in concern. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“I. . .” Seeing the other boy in front of me, I remembered why I agreed to come to this party in the first place. The words that had made me fall in love with him from the start. ‘As long as I’m here, you’re invincible.’ So even though my heart was still beating faster than normal, and there was no place I wanted to be less, I made a decision. Reaching down, I grabbed Hinata’s hand and looked at him with a face that I hoped looked confident enough. “Don’t worry about it. How about you lead the way?” Even though I could still feel my nerves surging up just under my skin, I put it aside and focused on my hand in his, and the blinding smile meant for only me.</p><p>The moment was broken by the end of the song that was playing, and the beginning of a new one. Hinata looked away, eyes wide, and broke out into a wide grin. </p><p>“I love this song! Kageyama, come dance with me!” </p><p>I tried to protest, saying that I didn’t know the song and that I’m no good at dancing, but one look into his gleaming face and I knew there was no way I could say no. He pulled me into the group of writhing bodies and shot me a dazzling smile. We faced each other like that for a second, and then he dropped my hand and started to dance. I say this in the nicest way possible, but he was an absolutely terrible dancer. He jumped up and down, waved his arms and wiggled like a worm being electrocuted. No matter how stupid he looked, as I watched on, the only thing I could think was how amazing he looked, hair whipping as he jumped around, eyes sparkling and smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world. </p><p>As the chorus hit, he grabbed my hand, and pulled me closer to him, motioning for me to jump with him. Even though I felt really stupid, seeing his face light up by the fact that I was dancing with him made it worth it. He pretended to use his free hand as a microphone and sang into it, and for the first time, I tuned in to the lyrics. </p><p>“And every night, my mind is running around her. Thunder’s getting louder and louder. Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle, I can’t let you go now that I’ve got it! And all I need is to be struck by your electric love! Baby, your electric love!”</p><p>The song was perfect for Hinata. He was like a lightning bolt on the court, always coming when you didn’t expect it. He was bright and fast, and perfectly rare. He was electric. At that moment, even though we were in a completely full room, all I could see was him, smiling back at me, one hand still in mine and the other being used as a microphone. We were the only two people to exist. It was perfect. </p><p>Eventually, the song came to an end. Hinata’s hair was stuck to his sweat-soaked forehead, and he smiled. Then the moment broke, and he dropped my hand, suddenly nervous again. I opened my mouth to say something, anything to fill the sudden gap between us, but he cut me off. </p><p>“I- I have to go find Kenma! Why don’t you go get a drink, and I’ll be right back.” His cheeks were flushed, and suddenly he looked away. I reached out to grab his wrist, but before I could stop him, the ginger-haired boy had raced off, weaving between the crowds of people until I couldn’t see him anymore, and I was left all alone, standing in the middle of the dance floor, and wondering what had happened?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song that they listen to is Electric Love by BØRNS. I hope you guys think it fits as well as I think it does &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everything goes to shit again :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     Hinata, the party somehow seemed brighter and louder, dizzyingly so. I glanced around, suddenly remembering how crowded the dance floor was. People crowded around me at every turn, dancing and talking, hands full of red solo cups that sloshed with every movement. Finally, I spotted a quieter spot in the back of the room near the drink tables, and I moved to make my way toward it. As I snaked between the crowd, I got pats on the back, congratulating me on beating Shiritorizawa, and sloppy toasts in my direction. It was overwhelming, being known. </p>
<p>     Suddenly, someone had draped over my shoulders, the cup in their right hand spilling the slightest amount of liquid onto the sleeve of my shirt. I turned my head to see Nekoma’s captain looking curiously down at me. </p>
<p>     “Hey kid, how’s it hanging?” The third-year slurred. “Have you gotten a drink yet? That punch is some good shit! Grab a cup of that to help you celebrate that win!”<br/>
I cringed away from the dead weight leaning on me, and let out a weak laugh. “Hey, Kuroo. I’m doing alright,” I responded awkwardly. “Oh yeah, and have you seen Kenma? I think Hinata is looking for him.”</p>
<p>     The taller boy thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers and his eyes shifted out of their glazed over state. </p>
<p>     “Oh yeah, I remember now. Kenma is up in the upstairs bedroom. I bet Hinata’s already found him by now, no biggie! Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer! Just wanted to tell you to loosen up, this IS a party after all.” After one last pat on the back with enough force to make me stumble a bit, Kuroo let out an excited yell and waded back into the party. </p>
<p>     My mind raced. Kenma was… in the bedroom? The way that Hinata had avoided my gaze, refused to meet my eyes and ran off to find Kenma. Were they-? I shook my head and tried to ignore the thought. Even if they were, it wouldn’t be my business. I pushed away the spike of jealousy that stabbed into my chest, and grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler under the table, wrinkling my nose at the punch that smelled suspiciously strongly of alcohol. I’d have to remember to tell Hinata to avoid it when he came back. </p>
<p>     “Oy, king! I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” a snarky voice came from behind me. “But, then again, shrimpy invited you, and you’re just a little trained dog for him, aren’t you?” </p>
<p>     “I told you not to call me that, Tsukishima,” I replied, without turning to face him. I didn’t want to see that self-centered smirk on his face if I did. “Where’s Yamaguchi?” </p>
<p>     “Talking to Terushima. That Captain from Johzenji. Hinata?” </p>
<p>     “Gone to find Kenma.” My back was tense, and I spat every word like they tasted bad in my mouth. I knew I was overreacting, that I was jumping to conclusions, but it was too late now. Tsukishima had already picked up on the notes of anger in my voice, and before I could play it off, the snarky asshole laughed. </p>
<p>     “Ohhh, somebody’s jealous that shorty likes somebody other than him, huh? How lame do you have to be to get invited to a party, only to get abandoned after the first song by the very person who invited you there? God, the rest of the team has been betting on the two of you for ages, and when he invited you here I was sure I was about to lose money, but the way he ran off makes me feel sure that I’ll be able to buy that new pair of headphones I’ve been wanting pretty soon.”</p>
<p>     I opened my mouth to retort, to tell him that he was wrong and that Hinata would be back any minute, and to ask what he meant about them betting on us, but before I could say anything, Yamaguchi’s voice chipped in. </p>
<p>     “Hey, Tsukki! I’m back!” There was a pause, and then again, a little more hesitant. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?” </p>
<p>     “No. Nothing at all.” Came the confident words from behind me. His cold hand gripped my shoulder, and he looked at me with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Good talking to you, King.” With that, the two of them walked back off into the crowd, hand in hand without even a single glance back at me. I stared numbly at their backs as they left until they were just two more bodies in the crowd, indistinguishable from everybody else. </p>
<p>     I stood at the drink table for a while, sipping my water every so often. After about five minutes, I could feel the confused stares from the girls start to settle on me for longer periods of time, so I walked away, waving to someone on the other side of the room that definitely wasn’t there. Five minutes of wandering around turned into ten. Ten turned into twenty, and there are only so many times you can check your phone when the only person who ever texts you is conveniently missing in action, and you left your earbuds at home so it’s not like you can just tune everybody else out. Eventually, I slipped out the front door into the night air. Nobody even saw me leave. </p>
<p>     For the first time in about an hour, I took a real breath and realized just how tense I was. I shoved my hands in my pockets and made my way down the driveway. I sat down on the cold concrete of the curb and laid back into the grass, eyes to the sky. In Miyagi, you could always see the stars right above your head, bright and twinkling as if they’d never burn out. The stars always reminded me of Hinata. Of late-night walks home from the gym after staying late to practice. The way you can never look away. But here in Tokyo, the light pollution makes the stars dull and muted. Suddenly, not for the first time that night, I am struck with a thought. I wish I had never come to this party. </p>
<p>     I’m not sure how long I was lying there, watching the sky swirl by. In the time I was there, a few people stumbled out of the front door, and down the road, the music spilling out the door making me startle. Honestly, I wish I could say that I didn’t know why I stayed, but that’d be a lie. It’s him. It’s always him. We came together, and there was a part of me that hoped that he’d come out looking for me, saying that he’d been looking for me, that he was worried about me. But another thirty minutes passed, and it was still just me, laid out under the stars.</p>
<p>     I sat up, pulling my gaze off of the winking lights of the sky, and down onto the phone in my hand, the screen still dark and silent. I sighed and opened my text thread with Hinata. His last text, “Come out, I’m here!” seemed to mock me as I typed out a reply. “I’m heading home. See you Monday.” Immediately after the delivered icon popped up, I opened up a new chat window with Yamaguchi. Even though I winced at the thought of Tsukishima seeing the message, I had to send it. No matter how upset I was, my heart still belonged to Hinata, and I couldn’t just leave him here by himself. “Hey. Make sure Hinata gets home safe, I’m leaving.”'</p>
<p>     The latter’s response came immediately, and even though it was nothing but the thumbs-up emoji and a smiley face, I still let out a deep breath. I stood up and patted down my pockets to make sure I had everything I needed. Wallet and keys in my left pocket, phone in my right, I started off down the road. I didn’t make it more than a few steps though, before the door to the house I just left slammed open, the sudden noise making me cringe. </p>
<p>     “BAKAGEYAMA-”  Hinata’s voice split the night, and before I could do anything, I could hear the unsteady thwap of footsteps coming down the concrete towards me. I only barely managed to turn around before he stumbled and fell onto me, bracing himself on my forearms. He looked up at me, cheeks flushed, eyes unfocused and eyebrows wrinkled with concern. “Where are you going?” the shorter boy asked worriedly. </p>
<p>     “Hinata, I-” His breath reeked of alcohol, and I ignored his question in turn for one of my own. “Are you drunk?” </p>
<p>     “Nooooooo, I didn’t have any beer,” The ginger in front of me giggled, leaning forward to boop my nose. “I only drank the punch! Did you have any punch, Bakageyama?” </p>
<p>     “How much punch did you have?” I asked, trying to keep myself calm. Of course, it’s really hard to stay calm when your crush is looking up at you, and their hands are lingering on your arms.</p>
<p>     “Enough!” Hinata giggled, but as he saw the pointed glare I directed at him, and he sighed,  pouting up at me. “Somewhere around three cups? I lost count!” </p>
<p>     Jesus Christ. For someone as small as him, three cups were gonna suck tomorrow morning. </p>
<p>     “Hinata, someone spiked the punch,” I explained, trying to keep calm, because holy shit, he’s a first-year, he’s so drunk, and Jesus Christ, he’s looking up at me with those damned soft eyes, and I don’t know what to do anymore-</p>
<p>     “Oh. It was probably Bokuto.” We stared blankly back at each other for a while. That’s all he had to say? I let go of Hinata’s elbows and stepped back, glaring at him. </p>
<p>     “Why are you even out here?  You were having so much fun earlier, why don’t you just stay?” God, I know I’m being an asshole, but I don’t even care anymore. I’m pissed, and I don’t care if it shows. </p>
<p>     “But Kageyama, you said you were gonna leave.” He approached again and grabbed my hands, looking up at me sadly. “I don’t want you to leave me. Come back inside and dance with me again.” This time I don’t have any trouble pushing him away. </p>
<p>     “You ditched me for an hour Hinata, at a party where I don’t really know anyone.” I exploded. “ I don’t wanna go back inside. It’s so loud, and I hate parties, and I didn’t even wanna fucking be here in the first place!”  My hands are clenched at my sides, and I can’t look at him anymore. </p>
<p>     “Then why’d you come?” Hinata questioned. “ I told you that you didn’t have to-” </p>
<p>     “I know that, dumbass. ” I cut him off mid-sentence. </p>
<p>     “Then why-” </p>
<p>     “BECAUSE IT WAS YOU WHO ASKED, OKAY?” The silence after my outburst was deafening, and I felt the hot rush of shame rising in my cheeks. “Just- I didn’t want to make you go alone. I only wanted to be there for you.” </p>
<p>     It was only quiet for a second before Hinata pulled on my sleeve. </p>
<p>     “I have to tell you a secret. Bend over.” Before I could respond, he yanked me down to his level, grabbed my neck, and kissed me. It wasn't a particularly good kiss. Just the two of our lips smushed together. The taste of alcohol. His arms thrown around my neck. </p>
<p>     When he finally pulled back, I backed away from him. Tsukishima’s words echoed around in my head, about how pathetic it was to be abandoned by the very person who invited you to the party. I remembered how Hinata ran to go find Kenma. How stupid I was for thinking that it’d be any different than it was in junior high. I suddenly couldn’t breathe, and the sight of the other boy standing in front of me was too much for me to handle. </p>
<p>     “You’re drunk, Hinata,” I said softly. “Go back to the party.” That was all I managed to say. With that, I turned away and started walking away. He didn’t say anything, but a minute later, I heard a door open and slam shut again behind me. Only then did I allow my tears to finally fall, as I started my walk back to the bus stop all alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys are still holding on, I know that it's boring to wait on an unfinished fic, but I'm doing my best and I hope that y'all are enjoying this as much as I am :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter: Hinata's drunk antics, Kageyama is a sad bitch, and Suga is Best Momma. Sorry, this chapter took me so long to put out! I just started school back and my productivity has been at a negative four. Bear with me y'all!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My silent house had never felt as comforting as it did when I finally got home from that damned party. I made my way through the halls, releasing a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding in when I finally flopped back onto the comfort of my bed. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, groaning as I noticed the masses of text messages I’d missed while I was on the bus. There was one from Akaashi, saying he was sorry he didn’t get to say goodbye to me before I left, a few from Yamaguchi confirming that Hinata was safe and that they were taking care of him, and one from a number that he didn’t recognize that only contained a movie file. I sighed but clicked on it anyway. </p>
<p>The camera was shaky as it panned around the room, but I could tell that it was taken at the party. I could see masses of people dancing on the dance floor before the camera readjusted, back towards the tables I was standing at earlier. I gaped at the video I was watching, hardly believing what I was seeing. Hinata was on top of the snack table, the chips that were laid there earlier strewn haphazardly to the side. The ginger boy was dancing, waving his red solo cup above his head as he swayed his hips to the music, eyes closed, and singing the lyrics to the song that was on. </p>
<p>“Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with...you,” Hinata sang. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt myself tearing up. Hearing him sing those words only reminded me of the kiss that we shared. As the video continued on, all I could think about was how badly I fucked everything up between us. I should never have gone to that party. I should- </p>
<p>The video cut off suddenly, snapping me out of that reverie. I sighed and continued down my list of notifications. A few from the Karasuno group chat. Twenty four text messages from Hinata. One from my Mom saying- wait. What? With some trepidation, I opened the text thread from our shortest middle-blocker, mildly expecting terrible news, like Hinata had fallen off the table and gotten a concussion, but no. All the messages were all incomprehensible gibberish. Some were what I assumed was supposed to be my name, while others were only key smashes from where his phone was left in his pocket. But before I could scroll through all the messages, my phone flashed the critical low battery error, before freezing up, and dying. I didn’t bother plugging it in. What was the point? I took a deep breath and finally started to let go of all the stress of the last few hours as I started to drift towards unconsciousness. Sleep was a welcome folly. </p>
<p>When I woke up the next morning, I assumed that I HAD to still be dreaming. Because in real life, why the fuck would Sugawara Koushi be standing by my bed. I shut my eyes back for a while, taking deep breaths and then cautiously opened them again. Nope. Still there. </p>
<p>“You actually awake this time, sleepyhead?” I stared blankly at the setter who was still- inexplicably- in my room. He laughed gently, putting his hands up in a calming gesture. “Your Mom let me in.” </p>
<p>Oh. So that’s how he got into my room. </p>
<p>“What-” My voice came out a hoarse rasp, and I cleared my throat before continuing. “Why are you here?” Okay, not the best way of putting it, but hey. I just woke up. </p>
<p>“Well, Hinata told me about how you guys were going to that party last night, and I tried to check in with you earlier, just to make sure you’d made it home safe, and you didn’t answer our calls.” Suga shrugged gently, and let out an awkward laugh. “Call me a mother hen, but after everybody called and tried to check-in and you didn’t respond I got worried. Thought it might just be best to come to see for myself.” </p>
<p>“My phone died,” I answered dumbly. Although my head was still cloudy from sleep, all the memories from last night started flooding back, and I placed my head between my knees, groaning at the thought. “Hey, Suga, can I talk to you for a minute?” </p>
<p>“Yeah kid, of course,” The third year’s eyebrows wrinkled in concern, and he pointed a hand at the edge of my bed. “Mind if I sit?” I shook my head, gesturing for him to go ahead, and he awkwardly flopped onto the corner of my bed, heaving out a sigh of relief. “What’s on your mind?” </p>
<p>“The party…” I trailed off, hands fidgeting anxiously in my lap. “How much do you know about it?” </p>
<p>“Not much,” Suga admitted. “I know that you and Hinata were planning on taking the bus to the Tokyo prefecture. I know that when Hinata picked up my call last night, he was drunk and crying. I know that you left earlier than the other three first-years, coming home on your own. Other than that, the only things I know are glimpses from what I’ve seen on people’s stories.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t look at him. The worry in his eyes was too much for me to deal with, and I wrenched my hands into the blanket on my lap. Suga didn’t push, and slowly I started to open up. </p>
<p>I started in the beginning, with Kitagawa Daiichi. I kept that part as vague as possible, not wanting his pity, but giving him enough information so he could see the whole picture. I told him about being in love with Hinata. How bright and beautiful he was, and how much he meant to me. How he asked me to go to the party, and how even despite my past I couldn’t say no to him. The conversation with Akaashi. The dance with Hinata, and how immediately after he ran away to go find Kenma. The run-in with Kuroo and my argument with Tsukishima. The kiss. When I reached the end of the story, I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. </p>
<p>When I looked back at my upperclassman again, his mouth was dropped open in shock over everything I’d told him. Before I could do anything else, Suga stood up and hugged me fiercely. His arms were tight and warm and comforting, and that was what pushed me over the edge. </p>
<p>“Please help me, Suga,” I sobbed into his shirt. “I really fucked up this time. I’ve ruined everything. God, if I lose him too I don’t know what I’ll do.” He held me as I cried, rocking me back and forth and shushing me softly. We didn’t let go of each other until my shuddering sobs had slowed pretty much to a stop. The third-year handed me his handkerchief, giving me a minute to compose myself while he settled back in at the foot of my bed. He waited patiently for me to blow my nose and start breathing normally again before he started to talk.</p>
<p>“I honestly had no idea about what happened before you came to Karasuno, so I’m kinda stunned right now,” Suga admitted. “But I just want you to know that we aren’t ever going to leave you like that. Not only are you our teammate, we all consider you a friend. Even Tsukishima has a kind of grudging respect for you. And I’m not excusing his behavior at the party, he’s going to get chewed out later for that one, but he doesn’t hate you as much as you think he does. And just so you know, it means so much to me that you trust me enough to tell me about all of that, so thank you, Kageyama.” He let out a low whistle, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “But the party… That sounds like a mess. I’m sorry it turned out that way. Especially since I know how much you hate parties. Does Hinata know about everything that happened in middle school?” </p>
<p>“No,” I exclaimed. Suga was obviously taken aback by my outburst, and I shrank back, embarrassed. “I haven’t told him about any of it. He obviously knows about the game where everybody refused to hit my tosses, but anything else, he’s still in the dark about. He doesn’t know about the panic disorder or the therapy or the attempt. I don’t want him to see me differently because of it. He’s always thought of me as strong, and as this amazing person he wants to beat, and I don’t want that to change because he pities me.”</p>
<p>“I highly doubt Hinata would ever see you as weak, Kageyama,” I snorted, the absurdity of my upperclassman’s statement getting to me. “No, I’m serious! He thinks very highly of you, and I doubt anything could change the way he feels about you. Trust me, the rest of us hear enough about you and your amazing sets to know that he’s not going anywhere.” </p>
<p>He… talks about me? </p>
<p>“I guess it doesn’t matter if he sees me as weak or not now. That kiss changed everything,” I said miserably. “He probably hates me now, and I wouldn’t blame him. What if he never wants to talk to me again? Suga, what if he refuses to play with me anymore, and we can’t do the quick? What if-” </p>
<p>“HEY,” the other boy cut me off. “You need to listen to me, right now. I can’t promise you anything. I don’t know how this is going to end, or what will happen between you two. But you have to talk about it, or else you won’t know either. The longer you ignore it, the worse things will get. Trust me on this.” He looped his hand through mine and shot me a reassuring grin. “Either way, whether you wanna talk to him or not, you need to. He’s been really worried since you stopped answering your phone. I’m not going to make you text him tonight, I’ll stop by his house after this and tell him you’re okay.” I opened my mouth to thank him, but he cut me off, shaking his head. “No, I’m not done. That’s a conversation you’re going to have with him in person. It’s not something you wanna do over text.” </p>
<p>With that, Suga stood up and dusted off his shorts, yawning. </p>
<p>“You heading out?” I asked meekly. </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s about time. I’m heading over to Hinata’s after this to try and sober him up a bit. That first hangover is always a doozy, and he’s so small that the amount of alcohol he drank is gonna be horrible. Don’t worry though, I’ll take good care of him.” He leaned down and squeezed me up in one last bear hug, his soft wisps of hair skimming my cheek. “Oh, and there’s a few meat buns and some milk in your kitchen. Lay low today, alright? Rest up.”</p>
<p>I nodded my agreement, and Suga pulled back, giving me one last smile and wave before leaving my room, closing the door behind him. The muffled sound of footsteps, gradually getting quieter and quieter, and the squeaky opening and shutting of the front door, and then silence.</p>
<p>I sagged back onto my pillows, letting out a long sigh. Even though I knew Suga was right, and that I did have to talk to Hinata eventually, I was still scared. I had no idea what to say to him, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say either. Either way, I still had the weekend to prepare for it. With that, I finally forced myself out of my bed and I trudged to the kitchen to find the milk and meat buns that Suga brought over. It was going to be a long weekend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For some reason, this is straight-up turning into a songfic, so the song mentioned in this chapter is "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley!! (Ah yes, the song from the first fic that ever traumatized me. Brings back memories!)<br/>There'll probably either only be one or two more chapters, so we're getting to the end...</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you want some music to listen to as you read, this fic was heavily inspired by the songs, Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray and I Hate Everyone But You by Elita. And hey! If you're enjoying the story so far, maybe consider leaving me a comment? I eat that shit up, and it'd make my day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>